Sometimes you just have to have people over for
dinner.
You don’t want to, but those long, boney fingers of
guilt have got you in their crosshairs. Could be for
new neighbors, visiting relatives or it’s simply “your
turn” after a few years of successfully avoiding it.
Let’s admit it, having dinner guests is one of life’s
minor stresses: not enough to start cutting yourself
or anything, but enough to keep the sandman away.
Who to invite, who gets along with whom, who sits
next to whom. What to serve, who’s vegan, who
won’t eat pork, who’s gluten intolerant. Who loves
your pets, who hates your pets. Cleaning the house,
cutting the lawn, trimming the hedges. Making your
spouse promise NOT to bring up politics, making
your teenager promise NOT to belch, fart or drop an
“F” bomb…it’s a serious undertaking that the
makers of Ambien have built one helluva business
on.
But there’s always “Fantasy Dinner.” You may have
played it but just didn’t call it that. It starts with a
question: “If you could invite ANYONE, dead or
alive, to dinner who would you invite?” It usually
has a limit as to how many guests you can invite
that all players must agree to. If you’ve never
played this game, I can tell you now, that’s the hard
part.
Remember, you can pick ANYONE who’s ever lived!
George Washington, Charlie Chaplin, Michele
Obama, Don Knots, Bill Clinton. But let’s say
everyone agreed to limit the number of guests to
ten. You can think of hundreds that would be great
to invite, but you’ve only got ten seats. It’s tough to
eliminate someone like Abraham Lincoln, but Elvis
wold be awesome. That’s the tough part.
You don’t have to give a philosophical reason why
each guest was invited or eliminated unless you
want to.
I’ve got a list of a dozen (which I’ll share later). I
cannot seem to cut it down (ten guests is ideal, but
not a rule) for various reasons and I’m always
coming up with someone else that would be just
perfect. But I’ve got to stick to the number
everyone agreed to. If I add that new, “perfect”
guest, I’d have to eliminate another previously
“perfect” guest which makes it hard and makes it
fun.
The interesting part starts with the people you
choose and why. But what gets really interesting is
who you keep and who you eliminate, and why.
But again, you don’t have to give a philosophical
reason why each guest was invited or eliminated to
anyone…unless it’s to yourself. Was it because of
race? Gender? Occupation? Reputation? When you
study your reasons for a moment, you learn about
yourself which can be very eye-opening and even a
bit frightening.
Are there too many men? Did you add Indira
Ghandi just because she’s a woman? Or because
she represents a race that your list lacks? Should
you include someone from every religion? Every
race? If you include Malcolm X should you eliminate
Martin Luther King, Jr? You’ll end up with people
you don’t necessarily like on your list, but they fill a
“genre” you feel you need like sex or race. And then
there’s the whole consideration of what the other
game participants will think of your list and you!
Okay…my list. I realize as I type with two fingers
that this is a semi-dangerous undertaking. First, all
but one of my guests is dead. Second, you’re going
to either hate or love someone on my list and
frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Oooh, Clark
Gable!
Maybe I’ll eliminate Kurt Vonnegut and include
Clark Gable…or maybe eliminate Caitlin Jenner and
add Katherine Hepburn or Michele Obama. Or
maybe replace Christian Dior with Vince
Lombardi…or…or…
MY LIST:
Jesus Christ
Abraham Lincoln
Muhammad Ali
Eleanor Roosevelt
Maya Angelou
Sitting Bull
Kurt Vonnegut
Martin Luther King, Jr
Adolph Hitler
John Lennon
Barack Obama
Carl Sagan
Now that should make for some interesting dinner
conversation, don’t you think?
But that’s my list. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see
yours. What the hey…send it to me at
jackcardone28@gmail.com. If you DO send me your
guest list, make sure to title it DINNER in all caps!
That way I won’t immediately delete it.
It’s not a contest, sweepstakes or give away. You
won’t receive anything accept my appreciation. And
the only thing I’ll get is the ability to steal names I
hadn’t thought of and add them to my list.
Of course, then I’d have to eliminate people on my
list…see what I mean? BRAIN TWISTER: If you invite
The Invisible Man, does he count as a guest? Hey,
he’s invisible!