I was visiting the deli counter up in Heaven
yesterday and they had one of those “Take a
Number” thingys where you take one of those
little slips of paper with numbers on them. When
the deli man (in this case it was God wearing a
white apron and one of those little paper deli hats
cocked to one side) called the number on your
little slip, it was your turn to order up whatever it
is that you wanted. It was extremely crowded so I
knew I’d be there for a while.
As it turns out, the number that I pulled was 41. I
looked up at the board to see what position I was
in compared to the throng of people surrounding
me, but a hanging provolone cheese obscured my
view. So I asked the guy next to me what his
number was…turns out it was Bob
Seidenstein…curiously, his number was 41 as well.
Bob began explaining the history of winter and
the virtue of patience, but I had to move on
thinking I had found a flaw in the system. I asked
Ebony from the Adirondack Foot Clinic who stood
close by. Her number was 41. And Rick from the
Piercefield transfer station standing next to
her…his number was 41!
I soon realized everyone’s number was 41. At this
point God behind the counter seemed to be
growing a little impatient. In a booming, almost
thunderous voice, God asked, “Well, Cardone!
What’ll it be today?” Everyone’s head turned to
me, waiting for my reply. As I mumbled
something and tried to remember the deli items
on my shopping list, what came out of my gob-
smacked mouth was “Spring…can I get a half
pound of Spring?”
As my lips formed the words, a smile broke out on
God-The-Deli-Man’s face. After I had spoken, first
there was a giggle, then a snicker, then a guffaw,
then outright hysterical laughing from the crowd.
Mortified, I looked back at my little slip of paper
and saw some other writing on it that I hadn’t
seen previously. The teeny-tiny writing
underneath the number 41 read “days until
spring.”
41 days until Spring?
I slowly broke into tears, grabbed my face and
screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” That’s when I
woke up in my bed, swaddled by two comforters
and two, now terrified, cats.
Yes, counting today, there are 41 more days of
cold, snow, ice, gloves, crampons, plows, shovels,
magnesium chloride, fleece-lined jeans, hand
warmers and wood stoves. 41 days of white. 41
days of gray. 41 days of thinking about 41 days.
Then 40 days of thinking about 40 days. And so on
until we reach SPRING!
I heard Bob still going on…“What about the
fabulous cross-country skiing, downhill skiing,
boarding, snow mobiling???”
Merely pass-times to take our minds off the wait,
that’s what I say. AND they require special shoes.
Many in Adirondack Park are waiting for spring to
arrive. What are we waiting for? For warmth, for
green. We’re waiting for sun. We’re waiting for
open water and paddling, swimming, fishing,
picnicking and ANYTHING that doesn’t require
layers!
That’s when I heard Bob continue on with this:
“AND HOW ABOUT WINTER CARNIVAL???”
He had a point. Without winter there’d be no
Winter Carnival! During Carnival the weather is
always perfect no matter the weather. It requires
no special shoes and everyone loves it. But it’s
just something else we all have to wait for!!!
I wasn’t about to give up that easily. “I’ll see your
Winter Carnival and raise you a Fourth of July.” A
hush fell over the crowd and God seemed
increasingly frustrated with me. “And another
thing,” I said looking the Supreme Deli Man in the
eye, “we only had to wait eight days for the whole,
entire world to be created! Now we have to wait 41
days for a little warmth???”
Through clenched teeth God spoke: “I
decree…Next year shall be one day shorter and
you will LEAP with joy.” I wondered if he had
punned on purpose. Then, in a lighter tone, “And
besides, Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see is shadow
this year. That means an early Spring!”
“Great,” I thought. “God leaves the seasons up to
a fat rodent from Pennsylvania.”
This year, Spring officially arrives on Tuesday, March
19 th . I, for one, can’t wait.
Embedded lyric quote:
“The waiting is the hardest part”
- Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers